The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

So I've recently been yelled at for not posting enough on this thing.  I've no idea why they'd want to read the drivel I produce, glutton for punishment apparently.  But, since I've been in a letter writing mood tonight, I may as well put a few words down here, too.

So one thing I wanted to post about last time, but I forgot to, was the most important details of our trip to the William O'Brien race a couple of weeks ago.  Forget about mile splits, finishing time and all the rest, the data that, to me, sums up the day is the caloric intake that occurred at Hardee's roughly an hour after the race.

I'm not sure what possessed us to stop at Hardee's, maybe it was Dave's constant whining about how hungry he was, maybe it was a force of habit for Erik to stop at any random fast food joint (he is only 23, after all!).  I can't be sure, but I think I may have protested quite a bit, suggesting perhaps a much classier and healthier eating establishment.  I don't know, that's how I remember it, but of course my memory can be a little fuzzy (I am 40, after all!)

Either way, we walked into the place, ready to take on the best or worst that Hardee's could dish out.  I remember feeling a little like Clint Eastwood, weary but prepared to fight.  And fight we did, as all three of us ordered the 2/3 lb. Monster Thick Burger.  It looks like this ->
only not as appetizing.

The thing pretty much has an entire farm in between two buns with a half gallon of mayo slopped in there.  And I start to question my sanity when I go on 28 mile training runs?  Trying to eat this thing was as difficult as Dante had in reaching the sixth circle of hell!

Add to this cardiac arrest inducing behemoth a medium fries and a diet Coke (because I want to stay healthy!) and you get, according to the Hardee's website: A total of 1750 calories, 1030 of those coming from fat, 40 grams of that fat the saturated kind, 215 grams of cholesterol, 4000 mg of sodium, oh and 70 grams of protein.

Having recently gotten a CPR/AED certification, I was starting to get a little nervous.  I know I could get Erik or Dave out of trouble, but could those goof balls save me?  Would I have to perform CPR on myself?  We didn't go over self-CPR in class!  Can it even be done?  My god, would I die of a heart attack in a frickin' Hardee's along the damn interstate!?  Oh why didn't I order the Gluten-Sensitive Side Salad and a water?  Water is good, and I guess it's okay to avoid Gluten every now and then, right.  I've heard some horror stories about that nasty Gluten!

So I'm pretty convinced now that as soon as our state government gets back up and running (any day now, really) we should petition them to make it a law to have an AED in every Hardee's.  It's a public health issue!

Well, fortunately for me, I couldn't stomach the entire burger.  I left about 3 bites left and a few fries.  I just couldn't take it any longer, so I waved the white flag.  You won this round Hardee's but I'll be back. I'll be back with a steely eyed look and say to you, "Go ahead, make my day".